I know (hope!) lots of us go through creative ups & downs once in a while, so it's a good place to start & it's how I'm feeling right now.
All week I've been feeling not-myself, creatively. I guess it's been building for a few weeks, now. I go through these phases once in a while, so it's not too unusual - I'm sure we all do, with the making-stuff - especially after a big project is completed or there's a lull after a bunch of deadlines have been met. But it feels unusual. Like wearing shoes on the wrong feet, or something silly. lol.
For those of you who are new to me/my blog (hello!). I work in an animation studio during the day, full-time, and I do a lot of side design work and such, like the collection I designed for Sass, illustrations, scrapbooking, blog-formatting for Freckled Nest, and other little odd jobs - as well as running my shop.
I'm totally head-over-heels & so lucky to have everything that I do, job-wise, please don't get me wrong, and am still totally in love with continuing to do everything - and it's not that I'm uninspired or even run out of ideas - in fact,
it's the opposite! I have a ton I want (& have) to do, right now. But I just can't bring myself to do it this week. Nothing works. I have no oomph.
Perhaps it's the 'have to' part of some projects that's hard to get, right now? The changing seasons? The weather around here has been so up & down (miserable rain to super-hot & sunny days) and I think it's affecting me more than usual. Perhaps it's fall approaching? The end of my contract being near? The 'what's next' that comes with that? It could be many many things or all of these things, but I think the thing that's wearing on me the most is the waiting.
The waiting for the things I want to do. It's wearing on me, all the ideas I have for my own endeavours but the not-having-all-the-time to devote to these things just yet. The 'I'll get to that after I'm done this other thing I said I'd do'. They're just sitting there and time keeps going by and my heart breaks a little bit each time something I want to do slips away or is put to the side.
Perhaps it's simply that I don't have a list or plans for the next to-do's, for this week. Who knows, right?
I initally wanted to take this week off & just fiddle with the small little projects that I am feeling, because obviously my creative side needs a breather, but I think things are turning back around already. I can feel it looking up. I puttered around with a crochet pillow I'm making for my couch last night and took her easy, after the few past days of failed attempts, and I'm taking tonight off to not even think about making stuff (which is when I always end up wanting to make the most) & grabbing drinks + seeing Eclipse (finally!) with hubby.
Tomorrow, the plan is to clean my desk (yay, fresh starts!) and make that plan/list, and get the stuff that I need to get done done so I can start on the things I want to do. :) I'm working on making my things a major priority in my creative life, from here on out, because this is a sort-of last straw in the feeling-like-this, and it deserves to not always be brushed aside as much as it has been.
No matter how I feel right now, I'm crazy excited and realizing that this is going to be an inspiring & busy busy creative season.
I can feel it. A buzz in my bones. A million ideas. A switch that's just gone off. Craft shows applied to. Ideas come to life. Time for my own schemes & dream. This is what I feel it will be, and I just can't wait to get started! :) It feels like the next step I've been waiting for, the push over the edge to better. Yesss.
Wow! What an essay that turned out to be, dude.
Kudos to you if you're still reading - I didn't mean for it to get this long, just
had to get it out! Here's to being more open, on this lil blog, and getting over the hurdle that's been this week, for me, and moving into the fun of making-stuff again (and learning to write it out in less words, for the future!) lol.
For now, I will post something pretty here in a few tomorrow, sorry that I had a blast making - methinks that will help. :)